The past few months is what I'd imagine life to be like. Mistakes, lessons, goals, failures all compacted down. There have been times I've loved myself and times where I completely hated myself like the scum of the earth. 

I want to do so much. I can see how one day can change the world or completely disappear from memory. 

I've been so satisfied with so many things and my views on people are constantly changing back and forth. Optimist to pessimist to humanist. It's like a rollercoaster of morality, haha. 

But I must say when it comes down to it, I don't really regret this year. I've screwed up so much and so many things have gone right. But the thing is that enough things have gone right that I feel satisfied. And I must say, isn't that what life's kind of about? To be able to say that it was all worth it in the end.

It's good enough, the past year has been dramatic enough, anticlimactic enough, slow enough, confusing enough, amazing enough, boring enough, and most definitely, painful enough.

"I've learned how to suffer."- Definitely true, haha. I've learned to suck it up and deal with it. I've learned how to be take a beating so bad that it feels like the end of the world. But I've also learnt that human being are like cockroaches. You flush us down the toilet and we'll keep climbing up for no reason at all. The bottom isn't the bottom, there's always worse.

I won't even say how happy I've been though. But all in all, there have been some good times. If the beatings are worth it just to experience happiness, then I must say, that's a life worth living.